Hello?
Mom?
Dad?
Anyone?
Are you out there?
Is anyone listening?
I just wanted to say, "Hi," but sometimes saying hello is harder than saying goodbye.
I've been on such a wild ride for the last 2 years since since I've written anything here, but
hey you have to start somewhere.
I'm almost twenty years old, and these days I'm still trying to find out who I really am.
I've gotten close once or twice, believe you me, but I can feel the parallel lines inside my heart
blur together.
A lot can happen in 2years.
I've broken and built too many bridges that its been overwhelming,
I've thought about living for ever and killing myself too many times,
I've fallen in and out of love and back into love again,
I've said thank you and sorry to to many things, and goodbye to not enough.
But people don't like to hear about some a fucking list of metaphoric bullshit
People like events, people like to know what they've been through.
Well, here you go.
A year and a half ago I left the LDS church and it was the best decision I've ever made.
My parents hate me for it, and hardly speak to me, but it maters that I'm happy.
I'm going back to therapy, and probably back on the pill
some days it feels like I'm dying inside and I don't know why. I just need to talk to someone I guess.
I hate therapists, they make me feel insignificant for some reason, but
if I'm going to not want to die, I should probably talk to someone about it you know.
I played the lead in a musical,
wow!
That was the best experience because without artistic expression I feel like I'm going down the shitter.
Which is bad.
So I love being in a play, and feeling like I'm actually doing something with my life.
Riffing off that, I've recently started a theater company!
go to whoslouis.com to check out it and the work we've done,
we do devised work,
I'm fairly certain that "devised" theater is going to be the new meta in the next 5 years.
I lost my virginity, that was amazing. but more importantly,
I've met a girl,
she's beautiful and smart and talented and funny.
she makes me feel special, like I actually matter.
It sounds cliche but, shes filled this mental hole that exists inside me and I finally feel happy.
I didn't know I've never felt real happiness until I met her.
Well thats me, idk, text me or something.
It's been a while.
I took away commenting because I just wanted people to read stuff.
But hey, if you wanna say hi, say hello.
